A Message from Jaimee

On behalf of myself and Matthew and Jake, I wanted to take a moment to thank everybody for their support. Gary’s loss is something I am not sure I will ever fully come to terms with, but through all the hurt and frustration and confusion I have been able to recognise how lucky we have been to have such wonderful family and friends.

Ray, Rosemary and Sharon and her family have been an absolutely wonderful support. We not only share our grief and sorrow, but happy memories and goals for the future. Ray and I will forever share a very sad bond of losing Gary on our birthday. I cant explain how it feels to have such a trauma happen on what is meant to be a happy day, but Ray and I both know and understand in an unspoken way and it helps to have someone who “gets it”. Rosemary has been the usual pillar of strength and reason for me and I will look to her for direction from time to time as I know a lot of Gary’s values came from his mum. Sharon is my sister. Maybe not in blood, but she is my sister and I love her and her beautiful family and even when I haven’t felt like facing the world, she never fails to bring me out of the depths and carry on.

And then there are our mates. There was a national debate years ago about the validity of the term “mateship”. I believe it is defined in what I’ve seen since our loss. I saw it the morning after Gary’s passing when the phone calls and visits started. But most importantly our friends haven’t slowly dwindled away as you would imagine while others get back to their lives. There is a sense of being left behind when you have such a loss, because there is a point when your pain is still so raw and real and those who knew him gradually begin to move on. We have been so lucky that Gary’s friends have been determined to show their support on a long term basis. From people arranging fundraisers, to help me try and save our family home, to visits to our home to play with the kids or have a cuppa and a chat with me, to invites for meals and inclusion in events and celebrations, that may have otherwise been overlooked and even with a bit of help around the home.

As a mother, my foremost fear is for my children. They have lost such an integral part of their lives, such an important influence on their development as individuals that I fear for their futures. This fear has lessened to a degree due to the brilliant show of support, from friends and family. Already I can see that Matthew and Jake have developed some wonderful bonds with some of Gary’s mates and in years to come those bonds will become increasingly vital when our boys become young men.

So thank you to everybody that has contributed to ensuring that the memory of Gary will not be lost, that his children will be well cared for and that his parents, sister and I wont lose one of the most important links we had with him, your friendships.

Sincerely,

Jaimee Witcombe